The Lords’ prayer says “our Father who art in heaven”, but who is the Father? I remember saying the Lords’ prayer in school assemblies but never thought about what I was saying, it was all said in parrot fashion!
My life has been a series of ups and downs, the downs often quite painful, from being abused as a very young child to experiencing abuse in various forms as I grew up, these experiences formed in me a distrust of men, women and authority. My own dad was an angry man, absent emotionally and sometimes distant, he was controlling, harsh and loved to drink. In my eyes, I just never seemed to gain his approval or interest in me, no matter how hard I tried. I learnt to horse ride, Dad even helped set up a riding stable, I did a sailing course with dad, I became a qualified scuba diver, I did a parachute jump, I learnt to ski, I loved pushing myself to the limit, I wanted to feel something. I was not getting the love I craved from my Dad, so I just kept on doing adventurous activities. I would also go out a lot with my parents to functions, which usually also meant drinking heavily as well, just to be with my Dad. My mum would say to me that dad did love me and that he was proud of me, she would hear him telling his mates, he just could not tell me.
You might be asking yourself, why am I talking about past abuse when I am meant to be talking about Father God? Well, our past experiences determine how we see God the Father. I gave my life to Jesus in September 1988 and was given a Bible, I read it constantly, it just seemed to be alive with scriptures jumping out at me, I highlighted passages that meant something to me. I slowly began to see that there could be more to life than chasing the love of my Dad and that there was a Father in heaven who loved me but I found this hard to accept. You see, I saw Father God with a base ball bat, ready to hit me if I did anything wrong, however, I started to read the Bible and I started to see that there could be a better way to live my life, I realised that I was on a crash course to really destroying myself, so I slowly asked God to help me.
Over the years, I attended Christian Conferences, some were on the Father Heart of God. What does this mean, I hear some of you say! Through some excellent teachers of the Bible, they would teach from their past experiences of their own Dads and how they had come to know the truth of who God the Father is.
They would teach from the Bible, showing that Father God is a kind, compassionate, loving father, who disciplines his children but in love and not how I saw a father, as distant, disapproving, someone who holds a base ball bat, ready to hit me.
Slowly, I gave Father God permission to start to heal me of past abuse and hurts, which were a barrier to me really experiencing the love of Father God. It was, at times, quite painful and I often wondered when I would be sorted out! Well, there is hope, I kept allowing Father God to keep on showing me who he really is and to continue to keep on healing me
to the point where for the last few years, I can now call Father God, Daddy (Abba Father). He is most definitely kind, caring, loving and has my best interests at the centre of his love for me. He now does not hold a base ball bat, that I am now sitting in the palm of his hand with his other hand gently hovering over with me, sheltering me, which is just amazing.
I was encouraged by a friend to journal every day, to write down what Daddy God would say to me. He has said that I am the apple of his eye, that he has good things and experiences for me, all he is asking me to do, is to keep on trusting him. So from someone who did not trust anyone to now trusting Daddy God, who raises the dead, who parted the sea, who fed the 5,000, who sent his son to earth to die for me, so that I could have the relationship that Daddy God wants for me, is just so amazing.
You too can have what I have and experienced, all you need to do is to ask Daddy God and to trust him, he is not going to abuse you, I know this to be true, he is in the business of healing, wanting us to really know Him. Amazing.